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The time has come for me to complete what I see as my physical transition. I want to emphasize, that I do not see
the physical steps one takes in a transition to be necessary for everyone, nor do I believe that your gender is defined by
what is between your legs. But I do know where my comforts lay, and for me, having lower surgery done is something I
need to be completely comfortable as me.
If you have been following me on my journey, then you know that coming to this decision is a huge step for me due to
financial necessities and my relationship. I've been thinking a lot about lower surgery even prior to beginning my physical
transition, over these past two months I have come to the place where I feel I'm ready to take on the risks involved and complete
what I've always dreamt of completing.
Will my partner and I survive this last step? I hope we do....so what should you expect to find on this page?
I plan on keeping a journal of the steps I've taken to get the surgery in place, the costs that I will incur from this process
and the things I experience before and after the procedure takes place. I'll include G rated pictures on this site and
post the other pictures on FTMmetoidioplasty and Transter, when that time comes.
How I scheduled my surgery and what I've done so far to prep for it.
I contacted Dr. Miroslav Djordjevic <djordjevic@uromiros.com> on October
3rd, 2007. I've talked with him before, about two years ago when I first began seriously looking into the surgery.
Our email conversation have been very good. Since our first conversation, I've been in contact with Dr.
Korac, the anesthesiologist, and Marta, Dr. Djordjevic's assistant.
Below is a timetable showing everything that I've completed so far.
May 4th - May 5th -- TRAVELING DAYS TO SERBIA
My partner and I left on our travel odyessy on May 4th at 8:45 am. I should have known that traveling was going
to be a problem when we left because that day also happened to be the day of Lincoln's annual marathon...so all the major
roads were cut off in someway by runners and cops.
I was having a litttle bit of a heart attack, but we were able to make it to the airport in time. Our first flight
from Lincoln to Chicago was pretty uneventful. When we landed in Chicago I was ready to find Concourse M....well, Chicago's
airport is big, and not marked very well. We trek from one end to the other and start following these signs that point
to Concourse M (terminal 5). We walk and we walk, and the signs stop, so we turn around and notice that the signs going
back the other way also have arrows pointing to terminal 5...so we walk back, and these signs stop....we turn around, turn
back around (a total of four times) before we turn out of the B concourse and ask for help....when we make it to Concourse
M (which we had to leave the building and get on a tram for), we are stuck waiting for an hour for Air France to open their
check in. We get through that and then head through the huge security line (second time through security so far).
As we get to the front, the TSA agent yells, "Again, this is the last place you can find food stores and shops, there are
none beyond security." My partner freaks out because she is hungry and so she wants us to leave the line, but I looked
back and saw an ocean of people behind us so I said, "Please, let's get through security and figure things out after that."
She throws a tantrum, but we get through and I buy her a sandwhich and chips. We now have three more hours to wait....
Our flight from Chicago to Paris was....ok...I guess. There was a little kid that sat directly behind us who liked
to open and then slam close his food tray....then he cried, and cried, and cried for about the whole trip. I did enjoy
the free beer and the meal wasn't half bad.
We land in Paris at about 9:00 am...our flight to Belgrade was set to leave at 9:35 am...so we knew we didn't have much
time. Well, to our dismay, the plane stops out away from any terminal, we get off by stairs and have to ride a bus to
the terminal...that took about ten minutes, we then get off and start running to our gate, only to find that we need to go
through Security again (the third time)....we get up to the security check person and they say, "Too late, that flight is
gone." They direct us to the "connections counter" to get another flight. I'm having a mild heart attack because
1) I'm very tired and 2) we were supposed to meet our doctors at 11:50 am and I didn't have any way to get in touch with them.
The connection desk was staffed by very friendly people (evey staff in the foreign airports are very friendly, unlike
what we usually see in the states). They gave us two options 1) wait six hours, board a plane to Dusseldorf and then
catch a connecting flight to Belgrade or 2) stay over night in Paris, they would put us up in a hotel and then get on the
same flight that we were supposed to be on today, tomorrow.
We went back and forth, tried to get on the internet to email my doctors (but they didn't have it there and said we would
have to go back to the immigrations building to find wireless) then said screw it...we're going to Belgrade tonight.
We get new tickets and then head through what seems like a mile long maze. We got through security AGAIN (third
time now) and they randomly select my bag to go through. After we get through security, we find a wireless station,
I charge the fee to my credit card and email all my doctors.
We then go down to our gate, which was in the basement and looked like an old bus stop and wait...five hours....I
try to sleep on the concrete floor, then sleep on the metal chairs, then stand up....for five hours. When it was time
to board the bus that would take us out to the plane, we notice that the "arriving on time" ticker has changed to "delayed"....and
delayed....and delayed. Finally I went up to the check in counter and asked the gentleman working the table if
he could please, please contact the other end to let them know that we were coming. "If we miss our next flight again,
I might curl up in a ball and cry right here." He said that since it wasn't with their airline, he couldn't, but we
would have a half an hour to catch our other flight....
When we finally left and landed at the other airport, we were called to, in French from the flight attendants (we picked
out our names from whatever else they said). There was a staff person at the base of the stairs who told us to get on
the bus last so we could be the first off at the airport and that there would be staff waiting for us there. And sure
enough, there were three staff waiting for us. They escorted us up to security (for the fourth time)....We got through
security and then hit the passport stamping point....they asked us why we didn't have our passports stamped in Paris and we
didn't know what to say...they said that wasn't good, so we should remember next time and stamped our passports.
One of the staff who escorted us to security then waited for us on the other side and took us to our gate. She
got our boarding passes for us and was just very, very kind. If it wasn't for their kindness we might have missed this
flight as well....until we heard that it was delayed....making us an hour and a half late to Belgrade.
BUT, when we finally did arrive in Belgrade at 9:00 pm, Belgrade time on May 5th, Dr. Marko was there waiting for us,
took us to see Dr. Miro and Dr. Marta at Miro's apartment, we sat and chatted about the surgery, etc and my heart just filled
up with joy...even though traveling sucked, I believe it was worth it to be here, see Belgrade and meet these wonderful doctors.
My surgery is tomorrow, May 7th, so I'll move now from the travel and focus on surgery.
May 7th, 2008--Operation Day
I got up at 7 am and ate a very light breakfast, consisting of half a tortilla with jam and a glass of water. Due
to a wheat intolerance, I don't generally eat any types of flour and so this wasn't a satisfying breakfast, but it kept my
blood sugar up for a little while. After my snack I went upstairs and spent about an hour shaving my genitals, butt,
thighs and stomach (below my belly button). I found that it went a lot faster if you shaved while your body was submerged
under water...it also didn't cause any rashes.
At 11 am we were picked up and taken to the Nardoni Front Hospital in downtown Belgrade. I was pretty calm as I
usually am before surgery. We got to the hospital which reminded me of a big old schoolhouse or academy and walked up
four flight of stairs. I cherised this walk because I knew it would be the last steps I would take for a couple of months
that would be completely comfortable.
Around noon, Dr. Miro came into chat. All the doctors are VERY freindly, down to earth, and helpful in ways I've
never seen before. They see you as a person that needs the best care they can have to be who they are, and not as a
dollar sign...This reflects strongly in everything they have done, will do and continue to do in the future.
While chatting, a nurse came in and stuck me with a really long IV and then connected me to a drip. We waited in
the hospitla room, a private room with a full bath, TV with american channels, and big windows that looked out over the city.
After a couple hours, a nurse came in and gave me a gown and then had me get onto a flat table. She rolled me down to
the floor below where our room "apartment" was and into the operating room which they call the theater.
They had me slide onto the operating table and put my legs up in stirups while scooting my butt to the end of th table.
This left my butt and genitals just hanging out there for the world to see, making me very embarrassed and uncomfortable...someone
did eventually drap a towel over them, which made me feel more at ease. Next they put a blood pressure cuff on my left
arm and tied it down to my side. They put my right arm out, which is where I believe they hooked me up to the anesthesia.
Next thing I know, Dr. Korac is giving me some oxygen and then I'm waking up to him saying my name.
The surgery was a success but I felt like a mess. I was shivering like I had just fallen through an icy lake
and then once I stopped that, I started commenting on how painful my calves were, the were knotted up like no other.
The doctors flexed and unflexed my feet, but it didn't help...between my calves and the ache in my balls, I felt terrible.
They lifted me off the operating table and rolled me back to my room. They lifted me onto my bed and worked on
my calves a littl emore, but again, it didn't help. Dr. Korac thinks I got such bad cramps due to the amount of muscle
in my calves (my parents and myself all have very strong calves). I was starting to fall asleep but Dr. Korac was trying
to keep me up for a little bit.
I had a nurse in and out of my room every hour or less so I didn't sleep very well that night. Another contributing
factor to my lack of sleep was the extreme nausea that I was feeling along with a very sore throat (from the tube that went
down it). Around three or four in the morning is when the vomiting began.
(IT is NOW, May 14th---7 days into recovery. I have my daily journal and pictures typed out on my personal computer,
and so I'll update my website upon my return on May 21st. But I'm alive, no longer vomiting, just in pain due to achy
balls).
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